Urgent Recall

February 9th, 2010 by admin No comments »

News from the car industry always inspires me. Take this Toyota recall – the second one in as many weeks.  Now there appears to be problems with the software operating the braking system and it begs the question whether cars are too complicated these days. I remember my first car ( let the violins roll, it was a Ford Cortina Mk 1 Estate) having a similar problem with braking as I hurtled downhill at 40 mph and my foot went through the floor.

Did I mention it was a rust bucket? Simple to fix though and the back up braking system (the handbrake) worked a treat.

But enough about me and my carefree days.

Number plates – hardly ever have to recall those fellas unless you have dealings with a dyslexic supplier who’s got his p’s mixed up with his d’s. Not me, I hardly ever get muddled. But I know it’s happened to a good friend of mine. This is why I teach the staff to use the phoenetic alphabet; it saves a lot of confusion.

By the way. Some clever spark has told me that number plates no longer need to be screwed on. You can get these high powered sticky pads that do the job. So it looks like I’m out of a job as a result.

Bet there has to be a recall of those ones !

Yours,

Reg Chatt

Green Company

January 11th, 2010 by admin No comments »

Apparently, I’m clocking up too many miles. I can’t help it; I love motoring and I’m the proud owner of a fabulous motor car with a rather stunning registration number. They’re worth looking at, aren’t they?

It’s these green issues getting in the way. We’re trying to reduce the old carbon footprint and the boss has declared a moritorium, something like that, on long-distance, futile journeys. ‘Nothing further than 100 miles, Reg,’ he mumbled over my expenses claim last week.

‘But surely,’ I responded valiantly, ‘surely people who buy one of our exceedingly rare plates expect a bit of service. You don’t expect them to do it themselves do you?’

‘Yep.’

I felt like a craftsman of antique furniture being told to create a flat pack. ‘But I’ve got this amazing electric screwdriver, I’m an expert, they won’t do it properly. Boss, the plates will fall off if you let them do it themselves.’

‘Sit down, Reg,’ he said, ignoring the no-smoking policy and lighting a fat cigar. ‘People can put the plates on for themselves…or get a local garage to do it for them.’

‘Really? Sounds shabby to me,’ I protested, batting the smoke from my face but smiling in case he spotted my bill for entertaining.

‘We’ve all got to do our bit. Don’t forget Copenhagen,’ he said.

‘What about Snowy?’

It was a last-ditch attempt to maintain my old lifestyle. I’ve always been a Cavalier of the road; not one of these Roundheads of reason.

‘Who the heck is Snowy?’ he asked.

‘The dog, our investor.’

The light dawned on his wise face and his pen moved neatly over the approved box on my ex’s claim.

Other companies have celebrities, well we do too but we find them too boring to mention, but the customer we are most fond of is Snowy. He invests in numbers. How neat is that? And he can’t put on his own number plates – something about claws getting in the way.

So my life on the road is saved. A decent service is maintained and my screwdriver is willing and able.

Yours,

Reg Chatt

Almost Unwell

December 30th, 2009 by admin No comments »

Almost Unwell

It may have seemed like a Jeffrey Bernard moment. Oh, you know Jeffrey, the famous writer, who is sadly no longer with us, who had a very close relationship with alcohol. They made a play about him called Jeffrey Bernard is Unwell – so called because that was the excuse when his column was under the table rather than on the page.

I have returned to this august column after an absense of some weeks because I have heard it said that I could be unwell in a rather JB manner. This is not so. Christmas has seen me busy in a very sober fashion. We’ve all had a marvellous time here at Central Registrations but we’ve kept our feet firmly on the table. Or should that be on the ground? Somewhere sensible at any rate.

What a busy time on the sales front. And the purchasing department has had a record breaking bonanza. New plates to look out for are A1 HRH and A1RAB.

For some reason my thoughts have been with our politicians in the last few weeks. Probably due to the inordinate amount of bad publicity they have cooked up for themselves with their creative expenses claims. What puzzles me is why they haven’t bought anything sensible with their fraudulent money from the tax payer. I mean, who needs a duck house? If only some of them had invested in a personalised registration number, they could have made a tidy profit by the time they were caught out, paid the money back and kept the extra without the dear-old tax payer noticing.

I’ve checked our archives and can honestly say that MPs are absent from our list of clients. Which just shows how inept some people can be, doesn’t it?

Yours…full of good health,

Reg Chatt

News From PGs Cherished Numbers

November 13th, 2009 by admin No comments »

NEW IN

Take a look at this lovely plate !

10 DMB

It’s an original number; a glorious antique. Issued in 1958 by Cheshire Council Council which makes it almost as old as me.

It’s new in stock and is incredibly rare. So much so that I’m thinking of keeping the darn thing. Well, I know. I  say that every time and the sales people are getting fed up with me. Therefore, I’m sad to say, it’s for sale. It can be yours if you insist. Special discount if you mention my name. Even more if you get the spelling right.

Yours,

Reg Chatt

Scrappage Scheme

November 10th, 2009 by admin No comments »

It tells you something, doesn’t it? The government’s scrappage scheme.

Millions being pumped in to support the car industry at a time of crisis. More is being devoted to the banking system, I know, but the car industry is so central to our economy that each and every one of us is more than happy to fund a little helping hand. May be.

But the idea of the scrappage scheme got me thinking. No, no…please hear me out…it’s a habit of mine. As I say, it got me thinking about the attraction of the scheme. I’ll buy your new car if you give me a heap of money for this heap of junk. That’s it essentially.

We’ve been doing it for years in the number plate business. Except we don’t scrap the registrations we take in part exchange. We sell them. Because the old numbers we take in part exchange never grow old or tired. They may have done countless miles but they retain their value whereas the beast on four wheels slides down a dwindling slope of lost money.

So, there you have it. What a investment number plates are. You get to wear them but they never need dry cleaning. You even get to keep them if they’re stolen ! You can take them with you wherever you go, enjoy them for years and see your investment rise in spite of the depreciation that hits the car they’re on.

Yours,

Reg Chatt

Number Plate Industry News

October 10th, 2009 by admin No comments »

How many ? I hear you ask.  And you can be forgiven for that shout of surprise. It surprised  me even though I’ve been at  the coal face, as they say.

The figures were released this week revealing how many cherished numbers have been sold this year. It’s about a third of a million, apparently. People keep asking me – How do you do it, Reg?

It hasn’t been easy but with a dedicated team behind me, zero holidays abroad (I’m watching my carbon footprint, naturally) and a zealous flouting of EU regulations about the number of hours I work, it has been possible.

What can I say? I’m a good salesman.  For those of you who want to keep on buying there’s a fantastic special offer this week.

Mention my name to the sales team for a discount on any of our stock numbers. And don’t tell the opposition the secrets of my success. Some of them can be horribly competitive.

Yours,

Reg Chatt

News From PGs Numbers

September 30th, 2009 by admin No comments »

I’ve been visiting the far-flung corners of the registration plate empire. Naples.

Where else in the world can you see a Vespa scooter given its proper place in society. Weaving in and out of traffic, hurtling at 40 mph, horn blaring and what I can only describe as a fully loaded vehicle. Mum, dad and two kids – all crammed onto the machine, beautifully balanced. Amazing.

What a place! Pedestrians are rightly shunned, run over probably if they’re not quick. Zebra crossings are ignored, as are no entry signs, red lights and anything resembling a rule. No crash helmets either. Number plates, I hear you ask? Not much sign of them. The Italians have such style, such a love of appearances, that it’s hard to credit.

As your cultural attache, I did my best to introduce the concept of a well-dressed vehicle complete with registration number. Talks are continuing. I’ll keep you informed.

Yours

Reg Chatt

News From PGs Numbers

September 16th, 2009 by admin No comments »

You may remember that I’m a little image conscious. Not as bad as the guy in the Fast Show. Mr Shed.

But Friday sees my appearance at the Goodwood Revival.  Taking my lovely Jaguar for an outing – such a period piece, complete with fabulous registration number too.  But what to wear? You see, the Revival is such a motoring event. Nostalgic, fun, everyone dressing up in period costume from the 1940s.  But here I am discussing what to wear when I should be talking about cherished numbers.

‘Reg,’ shouted the boss, this morning. ‘The idea of the blog is to exercise your creative talents on the human desire for motoring adornment…NOT your boring obsession with your own sodding appearance.’

I loved the way he said talent. So much so, that I couldn’t take offence at the sharp way he chastised me in front of the entire staff.

Chastened, that’s me. And so I feel it’s incumbent upon to mention my special promotion this month. ALL stock numbers owned by Central Registrations are subject to a minimum 10 % discount. You just have to mention my name. Reg Chatt. All the staff know me. Just mention my name when you email sales@centralreg.co.uk for a stock list. Then choose away. I know I would. Appearances!  So important, you know.

Yours…

Reg Chatt

Number Plate Industry News

September 15th, 2009 by admin No comments »

INQUIRY NEWS - NUMBER PLATE FIRM EXONERATED

I have been inundated with requests for our £16 million report into the Phoenix 4 inquiry. I was so relieved that Central Registrations was exonerated over the collapse of the Rover car company by our independant team that I’m afraid I was a little too generous with my copies.

Sadly, we have run out. You would think for £16 million you would get more than a couple of copies but that’s inflation for you. I’ll just summarise the findings. This registration company was in no way responsible for the demise of the car giant and did not sell any personalised numbers to any of its directors.  There. I hope the subject has been put to bed as they say.

all the best,

Reg Chatt

Special Offers

September 15th, 2009 by admin No comments »

SPECIAL OFFER   LE 3      CAR REGISTRATION

Look at that fabulous number plate. It’s a 1911 reg number so it’s been around longer than me!  Just. It came from a vehicle which was permanently exported some years ago.

It’s on special offer this week. So the first person to phone Reg Chatt to say YES can have it transferred using my own personalised transfer service.

I may even pop round with the company screwdriver.  Phone or email for your price reduction.

Yours,

Reg Chatt